Yesterday I was on the verge of tutorial hopping about Adobe Illustrator over the net but suddenly the connection was lost and it never came back. I've waited like 2 hours or more to stay on my computer hoping that the connection will get back but sadly it didn't. So I just packed up my things and go around somewhere to have something to eat. I went to a sidewalk store where they cook immediate foods like noodles, egg or a coffee. That is where also most taxi drivers go and have their break. Then I ordered a scrambled egg and 1 cup of rice. While it was being cook I watched a free film showing just right there. Then the food was served then eat. After done eating I intend to finish the movie since I don't feel sleepy yet.
It's about 4:30 in the morning when I went in cute little rented room. Still not sleepy yet. I was just rolling and rolling all over again in my bed but it I really can't sleep. What I did was grab my little book by Harold J. Sala "Just for Today, Guidelines for living". It's a book where you have everyday thoughts and guides in your walk with Christian life. It was a gift during my last year's birthday August 22, 2007. A gift from my spiritual family Mrs. Rochelle Oliveros and Maluh Amurao. What I did was open any page and read whatever is opened. Until it reach me through a word "If you are alone" with a corresponding verse "Why are you downcast, O, my soul?... Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God." Psalms 42:5 . And Harold Sala's taught was:
Do you fell lonely and unacepted by others? God made you a unique individual, and He designed your heart to have a God-shaped vacuum that only He can fill. Until this vacuum has been filled by God, through his Son, Jesus Christ, you will always be a lonely person. Here are some ways you can find total fulfillment in God:
Guideline 1: Admit your need. Tell your heavenly Father that you are lonely and without lasting hope. Nothing ever happens between God and man until man is humble enough and willing to admit his need for God's help and companionship.
Guideline 2: Put your total faith in Christ for help. He is the help that you need,
Guideline 3: Keep in contact with Christ, moment by moment. This you can do through prayer and by reading His written word, the Bible. Learn how to practice the presence of Christ. He is with you everywhere you go. Find in Him the permanent cure for your perennial loneliness.
After reading that suddenly I feel like am I lonely? and look around and nothing is there but only me. And yes literally I am alone. And it felt like I was rebuked and God was talking to me right that word "If you are lonely". There was nothing there for me to talk to, to tell what was I'm feeling now, and to have comfort with. I feel an emptiness inside of me right then.
But then, it was just literally I am alone. I know and believe that there is God just right beside me talking to me. It was He who told me if I am lonely He was just right there for me. When I have nothing to talk He was just right there for me. When I need comfort, He was right there for me. That was so fulfilling that God talked through that book. My loneliness just then fade away. And don't weary no more.
And then I told myself, If others can't accept me, I'll just wait till they know me. I maybe alone but they don't see who's with me. I maybe alone but I have fulfilling comfort. I maybe alone but somebody loved me uncoditionally. Whatever life would be, I would still be stand on my feet. Wether I stumble or fall, I would still be with my goals with guidance from Him.
It was just a simple night but with an awesome taughts. Thanks for this book and the wonderful words from Him.